For the love of terraces and everything dark.

As I take long, slow walks by the terrace, the sudden ushering of the wind induces my heart with warmth, which otherwise remains as cold as a chilly, December night. The soothing breeze untangles my messed up hair as if trying to fix the mess that my life has become. This terrace has been my happy place since years. Maybe not happy but, definitely a place where I find solitude and solace from the chaos of the world willing to judge me every single moment. I let them judge me, their validation doesn’t matter to me at all. I have long come out of the shell that yearned to get appreciated for all the little efforts I put in to make everything and everyone around me better. Not that I have stopped putting efforts but, yes I don’t expect anything more. So, as long as judging me makes them happy, they are free to do it all day long. Three cheers for their shallowness. I smile as I contemplate about life and everything in general. My scattered thoughts fail to find any meaning. I try too hard to fit amidst the familiar faces that look like absolute strangers to me. Oh, well, didn’t I just contradict myself? Yes, I did. That’s how I am. Complicated and full of paradoxes.

I am still walking. It’s weird how this terrace understands me so well when people around me fail to do so. It’s a place where my existence matters. It’s a place where I am not just another face in the crowd. A place where melancholy can comfortably find its place in my big brown eyes as I share stories that break my heart, one moment  at a time. The silence here is soothing. I feel like home here. I wonder how people call those four walls a home when the chaos of those walls is deafening at times, surpassing those silent screams that remain irrevocably unheard, always. I take a deep breath and observe everything around. The sky has turned crimson and the beautiful sunset is a sight to behold. I close my eyes for a while and suddenly it's pitch dark, everywhere. I realise I have kept my eyes closed a little too longer. Maybe I was lost in some parallel world where life was still happy and all sorted. I feel tired. The burden of unfathomable emotions is too heavy for my soul to carry, perhaps. I lean on the railing that surrounds the terrace. My skin touches its rusty base, making me realise how it has worn out over the years yet, has been standing tall, supporting me every time I fall or think of falling.

I smile a little more this time, a genuine one. It’s not a very happy smile but, it isn’t a sad smile either. I feel at peace as the sky illuminates with stars having a little rendezvous with the dark. The thought that light always finds its way through darkness gives me hope that I would survive all the storms that come my way, no matter what. Well, there is a reason I love being on terraces, it never lets me down. In fact, the world seems much more pretty from up here. I try looking as far as possible. The whole city is sparkling with lights. I start walking again, wondering that if at all, somewhere, someone just like me would be fighting his/her demons on a terrace while trying to find the meaning of life. I think, there are a lot of souls like me, giving up on life, every moment yet learning the art of survival and rising like a phoenix every single day. We might be a little lost, a little scared, a little messed up but, we definitely aren’t here to quit. Not today, not tomorrow, never ever!

And, for all those moments when the heart breaks a little too much or the complexities of life tears me up, I have my terrace to shed my inhibitions as I walk past my fears along those long, slow walks by the terrace, one step at a time.

© Sheerin Naz.

It's always good to be alive.

And, there comes a day when you give up on life, but life doesn't give up on you. Be grateful to such days for, these are blessings in disguise. Years later, when you shall be busy counting your happiness, a sudden reminiscence of that vulnerable day will hit you hard and the realization that life didn't let you give up at your weakest moment will induce you with solace. 

What if life didn't give you that second chance? What if your vulnerabilty carved your way towards oblivion? Wouldn't you miss out a lot in life?

No matter how tough life might seem, cling to your hope, hold on, fight and struggle your way through out. Remember, it's always good to be alive!

© Sheerin Naz.

Be you.

So, is it been a while you have been yourself? Trying too hard to fit in the crowd, eh? Ripping your soul apart while proving your worth to the world? Wait. Calm down. Relax and think,

"Is it necessary to be in everyone's good book"?
"Do you require to please everyone when your heart is breaking a little too much?"
"Does your sadness needs to be disguised beside that smile?"

Certainly not.

You're not here to prove your worthiness to the world. It's okay if people do not like you for what you are. It's okay if you despise crowd and being solitary is your idea of happiness. It's okay to cry your heart out and not camouflage your melancholy with a forced smile. It's okay. It's all okay.

Stop caring for people who hardly acknowledge your existence.
Stop valuing memories which no longer hold any meaning.
Stop being selfless when the world tries to hurt you hard. Stop it, for once and all.

Instead, find yourself. Enjoy your solitude. Exist. Survive. Rise.

And, one fine day you will see how your constant quest with life finds a meaning and how you meet the right kind of people who will appreciate you for being real, being unapologetic, embracing self-love and most importantly, being yourself.

In a world where everything is judged amidst the paramater of black and white, dare to be grey, be you! :)

© Sheerin Naz.

Fights and struggles define us.

Life, a paradox in itself has a way of changing our lives when we least expect it. We can be happy at a moment and the very next moment something can break us completely. That is why life happens to be profoundly beautiful yet sad and tragic at times.

Life ain't perfect for anyone. If we see carefully we shall find that everyone around us is a little broken, who wants to give up on life at some point. They are tired of collecting their broken pieces and standing strong all the time. So, what is the ultimate plan? Does life come with an escape route? Is giving up the only way left? Ofcourse not! Never give up on yourself because no one else but you alone can get yourself out of the mess that life has created around you. You might be broken, you might be tired of trying but, please cling on the hope of having a better tomorrow, a better life and a better world because "the wound is the place where light enters you". This painfully beautiful line from Rumi sums it all, doesn't it?

Hoping helps and so does being broken because broken people know the worth of being strong. They have been through the excruciating pain that life induced them with and still manage to fight with it everyday. No matter if they lose their every fight to life and destiny every single day, that doesn't make them any less of a fighter. They keep fighting, they keep struggling, they keep losing unless a day comes when fights and struggles become their companion, their life.

If you were never wounded, you won't know the value of healing. If you were never lost, you won't know the value of being found. If you never failed, you won't know the value of success and if you were never broken, you won't value the strength of being strong.

So no matter how broken or wounded you are, no matter how many times you lost your way, no matter how many times you fail, never ever give up on yourself because at the end of the day it is our fights and struggles that truly define who we are and who we can be.

© Sheerin Naz.

Life : A Canvas!

Life is a canvas which can't be always painted with the colours we wish to. Sometimes, the canvas is left void. But, midst that void, it is the strength within us that empowers us to fill it with the colours of bravery and courage." :) :)

- © Sheerin Naz.