I will be there.

When the alley of darkness blurs your vision,
and the roads that seemed familiar give nothing but, false directions,

When the people who meant the world grow apart,
and the fallacy of forevers hit you hard,

When you fail to mask that melancholy and break down,
as your eyes turn russet from brown;
with no shoulder to cry upon,

When dreams die a slow death and nightmares turn surreal,
making it all complex to contemplate
if it's happening for real,

When you try to voice yourself but, your scatterted thoughts lose its meaning
and you end conversations mid-way, trembling, fumbling,

When you scream for validation,
crave for attention
but, instead get lessons on existential crisis and how adulting demands perfection,

When you look in the mirror and the reflection is nowhere close to you,
and you realise it's time to bid adieu,

Wait.
Even if giving up seems the only way, wait.
I will be there. It's never too late.

Maybe with a hot cup of coffee or your favorite black forest ice cream,
We will sort the mess out like a team,
It's okay if you don't wish to talk.
We can sit in silence or go out for a walk.

I shall even quote your favorite book "The fault in our stars",
and remind you how Augustus Waters said "pain demands to be felt" which, you bravely have faced so far,

Remember how "okay was your always"? So, just hang in there. It's just a phase.

You will be okay,
and even if you are not, I will be there, listening to your silences while you fight your demons, every day.

I will be there. I will be there.

© Sheerin Naz.

Sunsets.

And, if at all, you ever bid me adieu, do it at the sunset. For, I will be happy in the delusion of finding you again amidst a sunset, someday. After all, sunsets give hope of a new day, new life, don't they?

Till then, I will look for you in every sunset, believing that somewhere in another corner of the world, you are doing the same.

© Sheerin Naz.

High on dreams.

And, someday, after years of melancholy, I will find you somewhere standing on that road again, where we had parted ways and drifted to never come back. You would be smiling and so would I - and, suddenly, all those years of bitterness would melt while we look at the sunset and share comfortable silences. For, that's how it was meant to be, always.

© Sheerin Naz.

Autumn is here.

As the sky turns crimson, I stare at the sunset. It's end of the day again. A tiring and exhausting day of what all has gone and what all is about to come - the chaos in my heart belittles me but, the beauty of sunset calms me down. Maybe a new day awaits my existence. Maybe the autumn is somewhere near - the falling leaves are here to bring the change. And, my dreams are about to come true. Miracles happen, don't they?

© Sheerin Naz.

It's always good to be alive.

And, there comes a day when you give up on life, but life doesn't give up on you. Be grateful to such days for, these are blessings in disguise. Years later, when you shall be busy counting your happiness, a sudden reminiscence of that vulnerable day will hit you hard and the realization that life didn't let you give up at your weakest moment will induce you with solace. 

What if life didn't give you that second chance? What if your vulnerabilty carved your way towards oblivion? Wouldn't you miss out a lot in life?

No matter how tough life might seem, cling to your hope, hold on, fight and struggle your way through out. Remember, it's always good to be alive!

© Sheerin Naz.

The rain drops and starry nights.

It's raining since a while. A look towards the sky and, I witness the whole universe trying to find its place in my deep brown eyes. I blink. The stars blink with me. The moon seems to be enjoying this little rendezvous of ours. Such dark nights embedded with stars make me smile. The rain drops heal my scars. Its melody soothes my soul.

And, people tell surviving is difficult. Is it? Certainly not. With such beauty around me, I can endure it all and still be hopeful.

© Sheerin Naz.

Never settle for less.

While you sit beside, sharing your life, dreams and stories with me, I try looking in your eyes to find a reassurance of my existence in your conversations. But, all I observe is a void which is going nowhere. My heart sinks, my vision gets blurred, your voice still echoing in my ears yet there seems a deafening silence all around. You seem strangely undisturbed, lost somewhere in a world where I cannot find my destination. Your presence makes me feel lonely, you are right in front of me yet I find you distant, very distant. I feel as if I am midst an oasis in a far away desert yet, my thirst remains unquenched. Slowly, my thoughts get a vision, you are still talking, unaware of the chaos within my heart. I look at you once again, not to find any assurance this time but, to break free. I hold your hand and smile. You seem clueless.

"My chaos can never find solace in a world carved solely for you". I say with a profound sadness and walk away.

I don't look back. I never will for, someday, somewhere I shall find a place I can call home, someone who can quench my soul, someone whose life, dreams and conversations will have my existence imprinted everywhere. Till then, I shall keep walking and explore life, one moment at a time.

© Sheerin Naz.

Picture source: http://kingofwallpapers.com/lonely-girl-images/lonely-girl-images-014.jpg

Never belittle heartbreaks.

Never belittle heartbreaks 'cause it is the broken pieces of your heart that brings out your best version. It is the excruciating pain of those scars and wounds inked permanently in your heart that motivates you to carve stories of success and let the world know you are not any "damsel in distress" but, a "fiery queen" who knows to fix her crown, mend her heart and take on the world like a total badass!

© Sheerin Naz.

Being judgemental.

I am not judgmental. I know there is a reason why a particular person behaves in a certain way. I believe that unless I know their story, I am nobody to judge them. I have heard people saying that how much they hate a particular person and I have always said them ‘HATE IS A BIG WORD’. You can dislike someone but, you should not hate.

But, at times I feel as if I am contradicting my own thoughts. I tend to dislike people easily. I feel bad when a person doesn't smile back at me. I ignore that maybe he/she had a bad day. I get hurt if someone doesn’t reply me back. I fail to understand that maybe he/she is actually busy. I hate certain people [Yes, hate is a big word!] just because we don’t get along very well. I get judgmental towards a person ‘cause once I had a fight with him/her. I was the one who stopped talking to them in the first place and still I consider them as egoistic. [Irony!]

I know, I am not the only one. Everyone reading this post has been there and done that. We often contradict our own thoughts and beliefs, don’t we?

We can judge people but, we get furious if others do the same. This is so not fair.

Ever thought of having a heart to heart talk with the one you don’t get along well?

Ever thought of initiating a conversation with the one you stopped talking?

Well, I did that today and I was happily surprised that how wrong my judgement was. I realized that the person I had a fight with doesn't hold any grudges against me. That fight has long been forgotten. It existed just in my head. I realized that the person I don’t get along well has so much to talk with me. We have so much in common. I realized that the hate and dislike was not mutual. It was just one sided. [Evil me!]

I feel relieved today. Hatred is a burden whereas friendship, understanding and love sets you free from this burden.
It’s said that ‘To err is human’ but learning from those mistakes is also all about being humane! :)

Remember, hating is easy but, loving is way more easier. ^_^

#HonestRealization. #BeingJudgemental.

© Sheerin Naz.

A dream died young!

"Look at her marksheet, just 50% in Mathematics". Her father retorted.

"And, not to forget her Science marks, 55%.She is such a disappointment." Her mother fumed too.

"But, Dad, Didn't you notice my English marks? I have had got 92%, the highest in all the sections". The 9th grade girl said fearfully yet, there was hope in her voice.

"Nobody sees your literature marks. It is Mathematics and Science that make careers". Her father broke the hope she was clinging to.

"Stop wasting your time scribbling your good for nothing thoughts and pay attention on numericals and equations". Even her mother failed to understand her.

And, a dream died young that day. She was engineered to opt something she could never really understand, leave alone loving.

She was allowed to be a bad engineer or a bad doctor but, not a great writer!

- Sheerin Naz.