High on dreams.

And, someday, after years of melancholy, I will find you somewhere standing on that road again, where we had parted ways and drifted to never come back. You would be smiling and so would I - and, suddenly, all those years of bitterness would melt while we look at the sunset and share comfortable silences. For, that's how it was meant to be, always.

© Sheerin Naz.

Crazy yet happy.

They say "I am lonely".

"I am alone, not lonely". I smile and nod in disagreement

"What's the difference?" They smirk.

"When you're lonely, you crave for company while being alone is itself complete. It gives you a sense of solace.  Loneliness isn't a choice, aloneness is." I smile some more as I reflect on the profoundness of life.

"You sound crazy". They judge me.

"Crazy yet happy, ever felt that?" Sarcasm works for me at times.

I see them walk away. Not their fault though. They have wore masks all their lives. I wish someday they realise that being normal or crazy doesn't guarantee happiness, being yourself does.

© Sheerin Naz.

Things I often think about. Ordinary yet beautiful.

I am sitting here from a while. The wooden bench at the corner of the park has been my favourite since a long time. It is my happy place where I can sit for hours and calm the chaos that surrounds me all the time. The deserted bench feels like home, the silence here is amusingly soothing. I take a deep breath and look around, lots of people everywhere. Some familiar faces, some strangers. I smile when when my eyes meet theirs, they reciprocrate. A warm gesture that has been a routine from the day I started visiting here. Just a smile and that's all.
I am not that "lets talk it all" kind of person, I am more of a "lets just smile and get away with it" person. Socially awkward. That's me. I am comfortable in my silences, it lets me paint my chaos on the canvas of words. Maybe this is how I tend to survive, on words that I ink and the stories that I tell. It's late. The sun is all set to bid goodbye for a while. Time to walk away from solace and get back to the chaos of the world that is everything made up of paradoxes and contradictions. I walk away from my happy place, assuring myself of being back here tomorrow. The roads seem longer than usual. I take small steps, lost in the beauty of the nature revived by the rain the previous day. My eyes stop at a tree where the autumn leaves are falling. For a change, the broken looks beautiful. I wish the same was the case with humans too. We don't look beautiful when broken. I smirk at my dark thoughts and keep walking. The pain in my eyes is evident but, I still cling to the hope of another day. Life might not change in a day, nevertheless I will have my wooden bench to lean upon and share my comfortable silences with.

© Sheerin Naz.

Photo courtesy: https://cdn.shutterstock.com/shutterstock/videos/19468216/thumb/1.jpg

High on dark thoughts.

I sit quietly in the corner of my room, analysing anything and everything. It's in the middle of such dark nights when I wish to confront my demons. I try talking but, my voice gets choked up. Maybe the burden of emotions is too heavy to be voiced out. I divert my mind and stare at the intricate details of my wall. Shades of pink, everywhere. The lights illuminate the pink walls, making it all bright and beautiful. I wonder if it could reflect some brightness in my life too. I sigh and look at the wall clock. The constant ticking of the clock in the dead silence scares me. Time is sinking with each second and I am still in the middle of nowhere. I try keeping calm but, fail hopelessly at not succumbing to my vulnerabilities.

My smile denies to mask my pain. Loneliness grips me hard which I always try covering up with a tag of solitude. The delusion of happiness helps me cope up during day. However, nights have a different story. Away from the chaos of the world, my mind gets trapped in its own dark thoughts. I wish to escape yet I see nothing but, dead ends everywhere. I have been dying, one moment at a time yet I hope I find my existence, someday soon enough.

© Sheerin Naz.

Photo courtesy: https://aurynhadleydotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/asjl0uigor.jpg?w=863