While you sit beside, sharing your life, dreams and stories with me, I try looking in your eyes to find a reassurance of my existence in your conversations. But, all I observe is a void which is going nowhere. My heart sinks, my vision gets blurred, your voice still echoing in my ears yet there seems a deafening silence all around. You seem strangely undisturbed, lost somewhere in a world where I cannot find my destination. Your presence makes me feel lonely, you are right in front of me yet I find you distant, very distant. I feel as if I am midst an oasis in a far away desert yet, my thirst remains unquenched. Slowly, my thoughts get a vision, you are still talking, unaware of the chaos within my heart. I look at you once again, not to find any assurance this time but, to break free. I hold your hand and smile. You seem clueless.
"My chaos can never find solace in a world carved solely for you". I say with a profound sadness and walk away.
I don't look back. I never will for, someday, somewhere I shall find a place I can call home, someone who can quench my soul, someone whose life, dreams and conversations will have my existence imprinted everywhere. Till then, I shall keep walking and explore life, one moment at a time.
© Sheerin Naz.
